


Obligatory Coffee Shop AU

by The_German_Grim_Reaper



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: Cass and Renee will be introduced later, F/F, I was originally gonna writ several chapter of this, I'm sure the joker will show up and get his ass kicked, also Sionis is the worse customer ever, but I have lost all motivation and am now calling it a oneshot, change my mind, how can this fandom not have a coffee shop au already, look - Freeform, might update in a few months but don't count on it, the Obligatory Coffee Shop AU, well here one is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:54:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23248078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_German_Grim_Reaper/pseuds/The_German_Grim_Reaper
Summary: Harley has just broken up with her long-time boyfriend.  The logical thing to do next?  Open a coffee shop, of course.  With Dinah as general manager and Helena as the worst barista ever, it seems like a great idea.What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Dinah Lance/Helena Bertinelli
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	Obligatory Coffee Shop AU

Helena’s shift started at 6:15.

She had never had a job before, beyond sharpening knives and bandaging wounds for her brothers. She had also never been to America before, or at least not since she was very young. It probably wasn’t the best combination, but she spoke English fluently and she knew how to brew a cup of coffee. How hard could it be?

 _Very hard_ , she thought to herself, looking up at the glowing letters above her. _Quinn’s_ , the sign read, in a truly garish shade of pink. Below that, in smaller (and blue-er) letters: _Coffee & Teahouse. _

She’d applied for the job online, and so far she’d only communicated with the manager through emails. Still, she’d done her research. This building had been an old brewery until prohibition, and then a bed & breakfast for almost a hundred years. For the past five, it had been sitting vacant. Then, all of a sudden, this mysterious Quinn fellow bought it up with cash and posted a job application online- one that Helena had happened to stumble onto while she was looking for a place to live.

There were no lights on inside the building. She knocked on the door, half-wondering if she’d been given the wrong address. No, that was silly; the sign wasn’t exactly what you’d call subtle. For a moment, there was no reply. She knocked again, louder this time.

There was movement in the back of the store, and then a door swung open somewhere inside the building. Light streamed out, almost blinding Helena for a moment. Before she knew it, the front door was being opened.

“Helena Bertinelli?” A female voice asked her. Helena nodded.

“Yes. Are you…?”

“Dinah Lance.” The woman introduced herself, flicking the lightswitch on. “The general manager. Come in, come in.”

Helena came in.

In the light, she could make out so much more of Dinah’s features. She wasn’t as old as Helena had been expecting from the name (and the fact that she was manager); in fact, she could only be a year or two older than Helena herself. She had creamy brown skin and dyed-blonde hair. Several piercings glimmered in the light, including- was that a nose ring? Whatever Helena had expected, it was not this.

“Is that the new girl?” Another voice shouted from the back. Dinah rolled her eyes as she lead Helena toward the back.

“Come and meet Harley.” She said.

Dinah and Helena turned the corner, going through the open doorway into the kitchen. There was a blonde girl, probably the same age as Dinah and Helena both, sitting on the counter beside an old, beat-up microwave. Her hair was long, hanging halfway down her torso in two pigtails- one of which she was currently chopping off with a pair of scissors. Despite her strange actions, she had a bright and cheerful smile on her face.

Helena eyed her for a moment. “...What the fuck?” She settled on asking.

The girl laughed. She turned to Dinah. “I like this one.” She said. “Can we keep her?”

“Helena, this is Harley. Harley, Helena.” Dinah made the necessary introductions.

“Nice ta meet’cha.” Harley grinned at her, dropping the scissors (along with half of her hair) onto the counter. “You’re early.”

Helena glanced at the clock. She was not early. “It’s 6:08.” She pointed out.

“Exactly.” Harley nodded in affirmation. “And you were not scheduled until 6:15. Ergo, you are early.”

“Oh.” Helena glanced between Harley and Dinah again. “...Sorry?”

“Don’t apologize.” Dinah assured her. “Harley, you’re being rude.”

The blonde rolled her eyes, picking up the scissors and attacking the other side of her hairdo. Helena stared at her. After a moment, Harley felt the eyes on her and stared back. “What?” She asked innocently.

“I’m pretty sure that’s a health hazard.” She pointed out.

Harley looked at the ponytail in her hand, now completely detached from her head, as if she was seeing it for the first time. “Is it?” She asked, glancing at Dinah for confirmation.

Dinah nodded.

“Well,” she said, “Shit.” She glanced at the mess of hair, half on the counter and half in her hand. “I’ll clean this up. Dinah, give her a tour?”

Dinah nodded, and Helena found herself being led away from Harley. “This is the kitchen, we don’t do much here but bake the muffins.” Dinah explained to her as they walked. “That’s the walk-in fridge, it’s where we keep all the milk and ingredients and stuff. The freezer is right next to it. And that’s the employee bathroom. There’s no break room, but we’ll make do.”

“And who else works here?” Helena found herself asking as she paused to examine a post-it note on the freezer door. It read: _Stop eating the blueberries, Harley,_ in a jagged scrawl.

“Just the three of us,” Dinah admitted, “for now. There were supposed to be more, but, well…” Her gaze drifted back to the kitchen, where Harley was now wiping off the countertop with a soapy rag.

“But what?” Helena asked.

Dinah hesitated for a second. “Her… boyfriend tends to scare them off.” She admitted. “Well, ex-boyfriend, now. If you see a guy with green hair and lots of tattoos hanging around, let one of us know.”

Helena nodded, accepting that answer. She was a fairly good fighter, if it came down to it, so the thought of a creepy ex hanging around didn’t scare her as much as it probably should have. “If it’s just the three of us, what about the owners? Did they just leave you in charge?”

Dinah laughed at that. A hurt expression flitted across Helena’s face before she managed to hide it. Dinah’s eyes widened. “No, no, I’m not laughing at you.” She promised. “It’s just, I hadn’t realized we never said. Harley _is_ the owner.”

“Harley?” Helena repeated, glancing back at the blonde.

“Yeah, she’s been wanting to do something with this place for years.” Dinah explained, moving into the front room now. “Her boyfriend called it… what was it… ‘a waste of space,’ and ‘too much for her pretty little brain to handle’? That’s why he’s her ex now.”

“Oh.” Helena wasn’t good in social situations, but even _she_ could tell that was a shitty thing to say to someone. “...Is she always like that?” She nodded towards Harley, who was now making her way towards the two of them.

The girl in question was, Helena now realized, wearing a crop top. Or, to be more specific, a white crop-top with a cutesy design. It read ‘ _I love you berry much’_ and had a picture of a strawberry above the writing. Her hair was choppy and uneven from the scissors, although she’d taken it out of the pigtails and allowed it to hang loose. Also, she wasn’t walking- she was roller-skating. All-in-all, it was _not_ what you pictured a business owner looking like on opening day.

“...Come on,” Dinah said, avoiding the question. “We open in 40 minutes and I haven’t even showed you how to work the latte machine.”


End file.
